I would like to share a little story with you:
Lately I´ve been traveling to Munich and Paris, very nice cities.
In Munich, where my story took place, I stayed at my brazilian friends house and one day we went to an alternative circus called Wannda Kulturfestival, that I loved!
Inside the circus tent there was live music, food stands and a girl who was writing something on an old typewriter, so I went near her and I asked her what she was doing and she answered that given max. 5 words from a stranger, she was capable of writing a poem with the same ones, and people would give her an offer for her work. I was very interested so I chose my words that were anger, fear, peace and love. With these, she wrote for me a very beautiful and profound poem. Since she was german and I didn’t speak her language she tried to write it in English. Here is the result:
As you can notice she made some mistakes in english, let´s see which ones:
“in amore lovely way to myself“- it should be “in a more lovely way”
She didn´t put the space between a and more and I would omit “to myself“, so I would write: “I trust you anger in a different and in a more lovely way” or “anger you are different and lovely to me” (to have different and correct versions).
Then instead of “I don´t let you overcome myself as a construct of believe in things” I would write ” I won´t let you overcome me as a way of believe in things”
She writes “I can see the now, now.” So I think she means “I can see them now, now.”
I really like the sentence “Where every thing belongs to everything“, as it is a poem she plays with words but she gives them a deep meaning.
I think that I corrected all the mistakes she made. A poem is a metaphor too so it is good that it is messy but deep, I really loved it. I gave her a hug after reading it and I left with my heart full of hope.
Casual moments are the best! Even if I think that everything happens for a reason!
About the poem I can say that I like to find mistakes when I read something or I listen to somebody who is speaking a different language than the native one.
Do you find other mistakes in the poem?